Just a quick one tonight.
Adam.
I say all to often how big your heart is. Its bigger than your smile and bigger than the hugs to give. Some people don't fully see how precious you are; even people that know you well. I've seen others pick up on it after meeting you just once. You've got something other people don't and its hard to put into words.
I've been dealing with a lot of changes lately; we all have. You continue to reinforce to me what life is truly about. You show me each day that the little things are important, that caring for people and living things matter, and that simple is what works. Its so hard to remember to keep these things in focus.
We spent the night with friends tonight as we do every Sunday now. You treat every other child with respect, all the time. You never take away toys, make fun, or laugh at other kids even when its okay to do so. You look out for them all the time.
Tonight I told you a story before bed about a bear and a bee hive. Afterwards we talked about about 20 mins. Thanks for being you. I am so confident that you won't change as you get older, you're stubborn and what you see is what you get. As you get older people will be lucky to know you.
Anyway, without going into it too much, I needed that talk tonight. Thanks for recharging my batteries. I love you very much.
Dad
Sunday, May 23, 2010
ME to MA
I wrote this in April sometime:
Ad, last night I was helping you get your pj’s on and I noticed how big you have gotten. I said to you, “Boy, your legs are pretty big, Ad.” You replied, “That’s cuz I’m growing up, Dad.” Thanks for brief moment of realization, I needed it. You’re right, you are growing up. Only four years old, but you’re getting bigger and more independent every day.
We have moved from Maine back to Millis, MA. The same town that I grew up in. I never thought I would live in Millis again but here we are. The decision was so hard for Mom and me. I’m not really even sure what to say about it yet, we’ve only been back for two weeks. We’re still trying to sell the house in Maine and we’ve moved to smaller house on Village St.
One of the few things I really strive for in life is to disrupt you guys as little as possible. I know that kids, like adults, need consistency and routine in order to feel safe and comfortable. I’m sorry to you guys that I had to disrupt your life like it’s never been disrupted before.
You both loved Maine. We had a nice big yard and we were close to the beach. Adam, you had Marin as your best friend and JD was friends with Evan. I really didn’t like taking you away from these two people, not to mention Mom from her routine. We didn’t have family support in Maine. Grandie and PopPop were over an hour away and everyone else was two hours away down here in Massachusetts. I have always known in my heart that I function best with my family close by, but I thought Maine would be different.
Mom and I had always dreamed of living in Maine close to the mountains, lakes, and beaches. We thought it would be great to raise you guys up there and show you a simpler way of life. The truth is, life up there IS simpler. It’s slower paced with less people, and frankly, it is more pleasing to the eye. Massachusetts is home though, at least for me. I remember a few years ago (maybe 8 or 9) one of moms friends moved back to MA from ME and she was telling us how much she enjoyed living in Bangor. She went on and on about how happy she was but then at the end of her conversation, she said, “But Maine isn’t home. Home is here in Mass.” That’s how I felt recently. Home is where my family and friends are. My inner circle of friends are my family and my family I mostly consider my friends. It is very important to me that I do my best to give you guys the best life possible before all three of you, “Grow Up.” We’ve seen more friends in the last two weeks living in Massachusetts than we’ve seen in months up in Maine.
Remarkably, JD and Adam have adjusted well thus far. Again, it’s only been a few weeks, but you have friends, you’re playing sports and you are both in school. Mom and I have never received so many compliments on you guys. JD, you have been playing with Bryan, Jake and John the most. Adam, you’ve been playing with Drew; you go to school with him AND he’s on your soccer team!
JD, you always seem to adjust to new situations well. Ad, I’m still keeping a close eye on you. I don’t even want anything to damage you’re sweet fragile sole. You felt safe in that big yellow house and in your fish/chameleon draped room. I promise that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel safe here too. You have enjoyed playing with all of the kids and seeing Nana and Grampie more. You seem to be okay with the move and to have adjusted well, but I’m not totally convinced. You have asked for Marin a number of times and you’re moving at a busier pace than you were in Maine.
Mom and I joke that the three of you that has had the toughest time adjusting is Linc. Linc, you’ve been one fussy baby since we’ve moved. You won’t be put down, won’t nap like before, and you were up twice last night.
So anyway, we’re here now. I feel confident that this will be a good move over time and that all three of you will enjoy life in our little town.
Ad, last night I was helping you get your pj’s on and I noticed how big you have gotten. I said to you, “Boy, your legs are pretty big, Ad.” You replied, “That’s cuz I’m growing up, Dad.” Thanks for brief moment of realization, I needed it. You’re right, you are growing up. Only four years old, but you’re getting bigger and more independent every day.
We have moved from Maine back to Millis, MA. The same town that I grew up in. I never thought I would live in Millis again but here we are. The decision was so hard for Mom and me. I’m not really even sure what to say about it yet, we’ve only been back for two weeks. We’re still trying to sell the house in Maine and we’ve moved to smaller house on Village St.
One of the few things I really strive for in life is to disrupt you guys as little as possible. I know that kids, like adults, need consistency and routine in order to feel safe and comfortable. I’m sorry to you guys that I had to disrupt your life like it’s never been disrupted before.
You both loved Maine. We had a nice big yard and we were close to the beach. Adam, you had Marin as your best friend and JD was friends with Evan. I really didn’t like taking you away from these two people, not to mention Mom from her routine. We didn’t have family support in Maine. Grandie and PopPop were over an hour away and everyone else was two hours away down here in Massachusetts. I have always known in my heart that I function best with my family close by, but I thought Maine would be different.
Mom and I had always dreamed of living in Maine close to the mountains, lakes, and beaches. We thought it would be great to raise you guys up there and show you a simpler way of life. The truth is, life up there IS simpler. It’s slower paced with less people, and frankly, it is more pleasing to the eye. Massachusetts is home though, at least for me. I remember a few years ago (maybe 8 or 9) one of moms friends moved back to MA from ME and she was telling us how much she enjoyed living in Bangor. She went on and on about how happy she was but then at the end of her conversation, she said, “But Maine isn’t home. Home is here in Mass.” That’s how I felt recently. Home is where my family and friends are. My inner circle of friends are my family and my family I mostly consider my friends. It is very important to me that I do my best to give you guys the best life possible before all three of you, “Grow Up.” We’ve seen more friends in the last two weeks living in Massachusetts than we’ve seen in months up in Maine.
Remarkably, JD and Adam have adjusted well thus far. Again, it’s only been a few weeks, but you have friends, you’re playing sports and you are both in school. Mom and I have never received so many compliments on you guys. JD, you have been playing with Bryan, Jake and John the most. Adam, you’ve been playing with Drew; you go to school with him AND he’s on your soccer team!
JD, you always seem to adjust to new situations well. Ad, I’m still keeping a close eye on you. I don’t even want anything to damage you’re sweet fragile sole. You felt safe in that big yellow house and in your fish/chameleon draped room. I promise that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel safe here too. You have enjoyed playing with all of the kids and seeing Nana and Grampie more. You seem to be okay with the move and to have adjusted well, but I’m not totally convinced. You have asked for Marin a number of times and you’re moving at a busier pace than you were in Maine.
Mom and I joke that the three of you that has had the toughest time adjusting is Linc. Linc, you’ve been one fussy baby since we’ve moved. You won’t be put down, won’t nap like before, and you were up twice last night.
So anyway, we’re here now. I feel confident that this will be a good move over time and that all three of you will enjoy life in our little town.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Asbury
Last week Asbury died. He had cancer all over his body and it was his time to go. Mom and I thought that he would likely not make it to Christmas when the Vet told us he was sick, so we were both impressed that he made it to March 11. Asbury could no longer walk on his back right leg and he had a bulging tumor on his left side. He hung on for as long as he could and we could never have asked for better dog.
Mom and I got Asbury in January of 2000. He was just five weeks old when we brought him home. Mom went to see him first and she says that, “He chose her” rather than she choosing him. We went to pick up Asbury the next day and he howled and howled the whole way home. Not only that but he howled all night long too. Mom and I were working in retail and we worked opposite schedules for a while in order to make sure someone was home with him most of the time. I realized quickly that it’s a major undertaking to care for a dog. I questioned whether it was a good idea to have chosen to raise a dog. I even questioned whether I was a dog person at all.
As time went on and As grew he came with us everywhere. He was with Mom and me on our honeymoon, he came camping with us, and we brought him to friend’s houses in the area. Asbury was as loyal as a dog could be. He ran up ahead of us when we were hiking to make sure we were kept safe, he barked at suspicious cars, and he could always tell when we were sad. I’ve always said that As was on an endless search for love. Not that it was endless cuz he couldn’t find love; endless because he always wanted MORE love no matter what the circumstance.
J, when you were born, we had Asbury meet you at a spot in Millis on Oak Grove Farm. They say to have the meeting place in a neutral spot so that the dog doesn’t feel like you’re taking over his territory. Asbury licked your face right away, and had that tail wagging a mile a minute. It was never like you were intruding on his territory, it was more like he was just given a little brother to play with! From day one, I knew you two would be best friends but I didn’t understand the depth that your relationship would one day reach. When you were a toddler Asbury would pull you while you held his leash. He was ALWAYS gentle and careful with you. You threw your first group of tennis balls to Asbury, and you fed him often.
As you got older you started to take special notice of him. You made sure Mom and I weren’t slacking in the feeding department, you brought him outside to play ball, and you made sure he slept beside you in bed every night. You miss him so much. You typically go to bed around 8 and around 8:05 every night if As wasn’t already up there you would holler down, “As” or “Pup” and up he’d go. When you went from a double bed to a single, you said to me, “Asbury isn’t going to be able to sleep with me anymore, because the bed is too small.” I offered to bring in Asbury’s dog bed, but you said that you would try him out on the smaller bed even though you didn’t think it would work. You were right, it didn’t work but you still let him sleep with you each night. Before I went to bed, I adjusted Asbury so that you would be comfortable. He liked to hog the bed!
Asbury is named after Bruce’s first album, “Greetings from Asbury Park” but he had a lot of nicknames. I remember reading something somewhere that said the more nicknames you are given the more it shows that people care for you. We called him, “The Pup” more than anything else but some other nicknames were,” The Pupino, Pino Grigio, Assie, Raz, and Puppy. So many people called him the wrong name and frankly, I kind of liked it. It meant that his name was special to us. We never got it wrong.
Mom and I have moved a lot and Asbury has come to all of our “Homes” with us. This upcoming move will be the first one where he won’t be along for the ride. It must not have been that easy for him to adjust so many times, but I know deep down that home for him wasn’t just couches and walls, it was with us.
Ad, you took good care of Assie too. Anytime he barked to go out, you popped right up to let him out. You loved to feed him and you always protected him if he was being reprimanded by Mom or me. When we told you that we thought The Pup didn’t have much longer to live, you immediately cried and laid your head in my lap. Then you found As and gave him a hug like only you can. As was lucky to get so many of your hugs for the last four years, I know he enjoyed them all.
I will miss winter (his favorite season) with Pup the most. We got snow ball throwing down so well that I would pump my arm and he would start to run, then I’d say, “Turn” and he’d turn to catch the ball. He would never miss. I used to hit golf balls to him, throw the Frisbee, and jog with him. When I used to run in Millis he came with me every day. I tried with him up here, but he wasn’t up to it anymore. I’ll also miss the nights when Mom would be out and you guys in bed. I would let Asbury go to bed on the big bed and he would put his head on my chest before letting out a great big sigh as if to say, “Well, we got the family to bed didn’t we? What a long day.”
Pup loved to swim too. He could jump about as far as any dog could jump. I have often thought that if he were in one of those dog competitions, he could hold his own with out a problem.
Asbury has been painted on (many times), he wore his bells every Christmas, we tried to put hats and bandana’s on him, and JD and Adam both road on him from time to time. He was a good sport to say the least!
It’s pretty interesting to me to think that the five of us were the only family that As ever had. He only knew how to live the way we taught him. He was the sweetest gentlest barker that I’ve ever met. Even one day when a delusional mole tried to race through the back yard, all Asbury could do was nudge the mole with his nose. He did this often with other animals. Always caught em, but couldn’t hurt em.
It took me ten years to figure out that in fact, I am a dog person. A few nights before As died I thanked him for giving so much more to me that I ever gave to him. When he died it was one of my hardest days. He gave me a capable companion for my wife when maybe I wasn’t available and a best friend and adventure partner for my boys. He was happy to greet me every night after work even when everyone else was no where to be found.
Words can’t begin to describe how much The Ole Pup meant to Mom. SHE was his true owner and caretaker. She was his biggest advocate from the day he came into our house and she is the reason that you guys were lucky enough to have a pup. She’s a big part of the reason that Asbury had a great life. Anyone that is loved by mom is lucky and she gave a lot to him.
Its not the same without you, Pup. I’m so glad I snuck you all those table scraps, let you sleep on the bed, and gave you spicy foods even though I wasn’t supposed to. I promise to do more of that with the next dog we raise but I’ll keep that a secret too. I know you know now how much we appreciated and needed you. Thanks for everything you did for us. Adam thinks that you’re in heaven eating, “Ice Cream Biscuits” and “Running Free.” I believe that too. Like JD said the night he found out that you died, “We will never forget you.”
Mom and I got Asbury in January of 2000. He was just five weeks old when we brought him home. Mom went to see him first and she says that, “He chose her” rather than she choosing him. We went to pick up Asbury the next day and he howled and howled the whole way home. Not only that but he howled all night long too. Mom and I were working in retail and we worked opposite schedules for a while in order to make sure someone was home with him most of the time. I realized quickly that it’s a major undertaking to care for a dog. I questioned whether it was a good idea to have chosen to raise a dog. I even questioned whether I was a dog person at all.
As time went on and As grew he came with us everywhere. He was with Mom and me on our honeymoon, he came camping with us, and we brought him to friend’s houses in the area. Asbury was as loyal as a dog could be. He ran up ahead of us when we were hiking to make sure we were kept safe, he barked at suspicious cars, and he could always tell when we were sad. I’ve always said that As was on an endless search for love. Not that it was endless cuz he couldn’t find love; endless because he always wanted MORE love no matter what the circumstance.
J, when you were born, we had Asbury meet you at a spot in Millis on Oak Grove Farm. They say to have the meeting place in a neutral spot so that the dog doesn’t feel like you’re taking over his territory. Asbury licked your face right away, and had that tail wagging a mile a minute. It was never like you were intruding on his territory, it was more like he was just given a little brother to play with! From day one, I knew you two would be best friends but I didn’t understand the depth that your relationship would one day reach. When you were a toddler Asbury would pull you while you held his leash. He was ALWAYS gentle and careful with you. You threw your first group of tennis balls to Asbury, and you fed him often.
As you got older you started to take special notice of him. You made sure Mom and I weren’t slacking in the feeding department, you brought him outside to play ball, and you made sure he slept beside you in bed every night. You miss him so much. You typically go to bed around 8 and around 8:05 every night if As wasn’t already up there you would holler down, “As” or “Pup” and up he’d go. When you went from a double bed to a single, you said to me, “Asbury isn’t going to be able to sleep with me anymore, because the bed is too small.” I offered to bring in Asbury’s dog bed, but you said that you would try him out on the smaller bed even though you didn’t think it would work. You were right, it didn’t work but you still let him sleep with you each night. Before I went to bed, I adjusted Asbury so that you would be comfortable. He liked to hog the bed!
Asbury is named after Bruce’s first album, “Greetings from Asbury Park” but he had a lot of nicknames. I remember reading something somewhere that said the more nicknames you are given the more it shows that people care for you. We called him, “The Pup” more than anything else but some other nicknames were,” The Pupino, Pino Grigio, Assie, Raz, and Puppy. So many people called him the wrong name and frankly, I kind of liked it. It meant that his name was special to us. We never got it wrong.
Mom and I have moved a lot and Asbury has come to all of our “Homes” with us. This upcoming move will be the first one where he won’t be along for the ride. It must not have been that easy for him to adjust so many times, but I know deep down that home for him wasn’t just couches and walls, it was with us.
Ad, you took good care of Assie too. Anytime he barked to go out, you popped right up to let him out. You loved to feed him and you always protected him if he was being reprimanded by Mom or me. When we told you that we thought The Pup didn’t have much longer to live, you immediately cried and laid your head in my lap. Then you found As and gave him a hug like only you can. As was lucky to get so many of your hugs for the last four years, I know he enjoyed them all.
I will miss winter (his favorite season) with Pup the most. We got snow ball throwing down so well that I would pump my arm and he would start to run, then I’d say, “Turn” and he’d turn to catch the ball. He would never miss. I used to hit golf balls to him, throw the Frisbee, and jog with him. When I used to run in Millis he came with me every day. I tried with him up here, but he wasn’t up to it anymore. I’ll also miss the nights when Mom would be out and you guys in bed. I would let Asbury go to bed on the big bed and he would put his head on my chest before letting out a great big sigh as if to say, “Well, we got the family to bed didn’t we? What a long day.”
Pup loved to swim too. He could jump about as far as any dog could jump. I have often thought that if he were in one of those dog competitions, he could hold his own with out a problem.
Asbury has been painted on (many times), he wore his bells every Christmas, we tried to put hats and bandana’s on him, and JD and Adam both road on him from time to time. He was a good sport to say the least!
It’s pretty interesting to me to think that the five of us were the only family that As ever had. He only knew how to live the way we taught him. He was the sweetest gentlest barker that I’ve ever met. Even one day when a delusional mole tried to race through the back yard, all Asbury could do was nudge the mole with his nose. He did this often with other animals. Always caught em, but couldn’t hurt em.
It took me ten years to figure out that in fact, I am a dog person. A few nights before As died I thanked him for giving so much more to me that I ever gave to him. When he died it was one of my hardest days. He gave me a capable companion for my wife when maybe I wasn’t available and a best friend and adventure partner for my boys. He was happy to greet me every night after work even when everyone else was no where to be found.
Words can’t begin to describe how much The Ole Pup meant to Mom. SHE was his true owner and caretaker. She was his biggest advocate from the day he came into our house and she is the reason that you guys were lucky enough to have a pup. She’s a big part of the reason that Asbury had a great life. Anyone that is loved by mom is lucky and she gave a lot to him.
Its not the same without you, Pup. I’m so glad I snuck you all those table scraps, let you sleep on the bed, and gave you spicy foods even though I wasn’t supposed to. I promise to do more of that with the next dog we raise but I’ll keep that a secret too. I know you know now how much we appreciated and needed you. Thanks for everything you did for us. Adam thinks that you’re in heaven eating, “Ice Cream Biscuits” and “Running Free.” I believe that too. Like JD said the night he found out that you died, “We will never forget you.”
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